Weight Loss Blog 1: The Plateau

Jeez Louise, already one week into my blog and I've managed to be late on a post. I'm sorry guys. I got stopped along the way to "Blogville" by a nasty British Literature Midterm that exhausted me to the point that I could not write. Lame excuse I know, but exams take a lot out of you! This entry is not going to contain any recipes or tips so I suppose if you don't feel like listening to me rant about my weight loss experience then just...fail to show up at this page on Tuesdays. Because that's what we do on Tuesdays. Talk about my weight loss. However, I am not going to speak too much on the subject because I don't want to seem like I'm...bragging or talking too much about my own life.

I guess I should point out that my starting weight was 222 lbs. Yeah I'm not proud either. You don't have to tell me that it's bad. I can't really give you a definite answer on how I got that way, all I know is....that one day I came to the harsh reality that I was becoming really unhealthy. To be honest I'm glad that I caught it at 222. That was a good place to catch it at because I think that if I had let myself get up to 250 that would have been my point of no return and you were going to see me on Biggest Loser on prime time in a few years. All I can say is that, my weight gain was part because of PCO, part because of my eating disorder, part because I medicated with food and part because I'm a naturally very nervous person. Like I've said before, I had my diet change epiphany right before my ex left me, and now I am safely back of the eating healthy band wagon for 7 months.

Although, in 7 months time I've only lost about 22 lbs. Which is bad. And it's basically because I've become complacent. I've been able to maintain a weight of 200 lbs for 7 months. Which means that for 7 months I've been at a plateau. And you thought that I was such an expert on this healthy living thing. Haha! Barely. I am only just a student as you are. I can safely say that this plateau has occurred because I am not very good at working out. I hate it. I actually....I really can't think of anything I hate more than working out. I'm going to be straight up honest. I can only pretend to be some kind of health guru for so long before someone asks me about exercise. And honestly, I can't really say that I can give anyone any kind of guidance on that because my idea of working out on a daily is walking 25 minutes to school and walking 25 back. Which isn't BAD exercise. Doctors will tell you that walking is quite good for you and since I do it EVERYDAY except on weekends, I am already doing pretty good. I can probably say that walking to and from school has helped me lose that good 22 lbs and has helped me keep it off definitely. But reaching that plateau means that you're not doing ENOUGH to push you into more weight loss. And that's what I'm struggling with right now.

I suffer from severe clinical depression. I know it's not an excuse because there are plenty of people with clinical depression that somehow find a way to make it through the day. And I know I know, exercising releases endorphins and makes you happier...I know. Believe me. I've had a weight problem since I was 11. I've heard it ALL. But what most people who don't have depression don't realize is that, depression isn't something that just makes you SAD it is also a disease that zaps you of all energy and motivation. It's such a fantastical disease I can't really even explain it to anyone properly because they think I'm making it up. But I promise you, you're just going to have to take my word for it when I say that depression is completely numbing. There's that commercial on television, I forget for which medication, that says that people with depression have to keep "winding themselves up" to accomplish even the most menial of tasks in everyday life. That's so true. I have SUCH a hard time getting myself to get out of bed, take a shower, brush my teeth, put my make up on, and get myself dressed and fed in the morning that by the time I actually do walk that 25 minutes to school I feel like I've already done an entire day's worth of work in 2 hours.

So when I get home from school I literally cannot find the strength to walk much less work out. Everyday this week I have fallen asleep after school against my own will. My body just shuts down. Like someone just pressed the "off" button. I know it's like mid-semester and that's when things start getting hectic and don't really get any better until exams are over and it's summer time and that plays a huge part in everything too. I'm just getting worn out. I'm not comfortable enough to work out in front of people yet. There is a gym in my apartment complex that is widely used by the football players and Malibu Barbies of the area and honestly, I don't know where I fit in there. It's really embarrassing to walk in there and sit between Barbie and Ken with my inner tube belly. I've tried to do a bit of working out at home but I don't know too many things I can do at home. So I guess maybe what I should be doing is asking any of my viewers out there in Blogville if they know of some good at home work outs that I can do? If someone mentions yoga, I'm going to scream. I am horrible at it and I don't think it's for me. Thank you very much. So any suggestions besides yoga? Thanks very much.

So that's my short little entry about how I am going with my weight loss. I can't imagine anything being much different next Tuesday but we'll see!


Eat Pray Love (and exercise),

The Hungry Hungry Health Nut